There’s been a lot of talk about the “A-List” in the blogosphere– the top bloggers who get all the attention– and this often inspires speculation about parallel B-lists and C-lists. What many people don’t know is that the designations go all the way to Z. Here is the full list:

The A-list. You know who you are. The circle. The statements they make are deliciously quotable, if not facetiously doubtable. Summer 2003 was a great time for examining the A-list: some wag wrote up a simple guide; they loved it; they made their own a-lists; they doubted it. In 2004, a serious examination. Later called the alpha bloggers. Then more denial. In case you didn’t get dear leader’s message: “Stories about blogging and bloggers are boring and old.”

The Be-list. Or more precisely, the Wanna-Be list. This graphic, if it’s not helpful, is at least graphic. Let’s face it, the A-list wouldn’t be the A-list if it weren’t for the wannabe’s sucking up to them. Take this guy’s advice. Take a look at the technorati’s data on inbound links: they’re coming from outside the circle. Or, the B-list is simply that which is not the A-list.

The C-list. We see everything. We’re the community, grassroots journalists. If a real journalist quit his job to write about grassroots journalism, it must mean something! Why just last month he actually posted something about a new community journalism effort! That’s alright, we can just do our distributed investigative journalism in relative obscurity. Oh, and billionaires love the high C’s. This letter is the last one given a stastistical designation. Granted maybe we need something beyond the blog format…

The D-list is the disabled list, the defunct sites. One-third of blogs on the Internet are out of date, misidentified, abandoned, etc., according to the 2003 NITLE “Blog Census”. A little over a year later, the Blog Census itself was dismissed as being out of date.

The E-list is for the people who have no idea what blogs are. Or they do and they don’t care. They are still using mailing lists– Yahoo alone maintains 2million of them (counted last August)– and some still call them e-lists.

Le F-liste est pour mes nouveaux amis, les blogueurs qui écrivent en français, bienvenue!

The Gee-list, as in Gee, so this is what college is like! And, gee, why wait to finish college when you can spout your mind off about things you know not?

The H-list is for those members of the A-list who are affiliated with Hahvahd, since one entry in this list isn’t enough for them. The University has not one but two (maybe three) centers for hosting U.N.-style BloJo confabs. Other Higher Ed affiliated institutons keep an eye on the blogosphere: on the East, the Lions roar at the CJR, and the Terrapins snap at the J-Lab; out West, the Trojans defend the OJR, up North, the Golden Gophers poke their head up into the Blogosphere, and down South, the higher-than-higher-ed mascotless Tampa Baysters give some Poynters. “Just points on a compass,” according to Dr. No.

The I-list is made of up International bloggers in the strategic I-countries: Iraq, Iran, India, Israel, Indonesia, Italy, Ireland, Iceland, the girl from Ipanema.

The Jay-list is for people who read and participate in the increasingly tedious PressThink writings, er, bloggings. Where journalism is not a lecture, but a conversation. December: “What the printing press did to the Catholic Church the blogging press does to the media church.” February: “I am starting to realize my error. Blogging has no nature.” March: “Who really knows how to explain the kind of rage and discontent–primarily about ‘bias’–that visits the ombudsman’s inbox anywhere there is such a box in the American news media today?” Or maybe journalism is not a conversation but pasting of quotes. Then it looks like conversation.

The JJ-List is for people who followed the even more tedious discussion between the editor of the Times and the buzzmacher who wants to run an online media company. Wait a minute, he already does.

The K-list is for people who once believed that the knowledge management tool will be called “K-Logs,” despite a prediction here that the term was doomed to flop.

The LJ-list is of people who use LiveJournal. They have a completely different culture than the blogosphere. They write in their journals for their friends, not for you, you nosey websurfer.

The M-list: The Media Bloggers Association. They have banded together, to help each other in case Big Media decides to sue the pajama pants off of one of them. They are looking for people who write/whine about politics and/or the media, particularly how they are portrayed. There are more MBA members than you think, since not all media musing members include the logo.

The N-list is for people who are really Not Bloggers. They may be Kossacks, or Freepers, or Wikipedians— native Internet typists of the left, right, and neutured variety, respectively, who toil away in relative obscurity. Among those not in obscurity are Stand Alone Journalists. Also, some publications have been doing comment blog-like websites that are written by “paid journalists” and are “edited” and “fact-checked” and other unconscionables. Cherish the wrought. (Some non-bloggers are in the Media Bloggers Assocation, btw.)

The Oh, did I just say something that I didn’t mean to and it just showed up in the Wall Street Journal? list, and also, Oh, how come no one complained loudly before it showed up in the Wall Street Journal?

The P-list: Professors, Politicians, Public Intellecturals, Presidents (of companies), (dead) Poets. Also, instant-pundits, but I forget that guy’s URL.

The Queue-list: People who’ve submitted to the A-list and go nuts if they’re not heard, please please please give them a link.

The R-list: For Red-Staters. We’ve got our blurbs! We got Religion! We got Rather! And we’ll get you, you liberal elite and mainstream media! We’re organized and you’re not, and even the liberal American Prospect said so! (But pay no attention to the conservative-libertarian split.) Go and MoveOn, get going, back to Vermont and Massachusetts! You Howard Deanie-Weenies! You didn’t even make this list! Yeeeeeoowrrrrrgh—

The S is for So what and Shutup you self-made, self-serving, slime artists list. We’re the liberal party and we define ourselves by running against the President! You have three branches of government now, you are mostly white, upper-middle class, what more can you want? We’re here to Save Social Security– by making it our daily obsession! The so-called liberal media. If it were liberal would we have this idiot as President? Lapdog is more like it! Which is why we’re going to join in your crusade to tear the corporate media a new output portal, and match your jihad against moderates in your own party with our own!

Timeout! says the T-List. That’s traditional-list for you. Blogging was about filtering until the journaling came along. A little nostalgia from two years ago: “What was once a filter for noise has become noise itself.” People start hating political blogs three years ago. Last year it was not fun anymore. This year, to someone else, it’s not fun anymore. Consider the moment when something “jumps the shark” — defined as the moment when all realize that the thing will never be the same again. For blogging, this has been called in February 2005 (consumer fetish) in November 2004 (post-election), in October 2004 (NYT magazine story), in September 2004 (billionaire philanthropist starts blog), in July 2004 (tracking political convention), in April 2004 (mentioned in television show), in November 2003 (on a T-shirt). Some have given up.

The You-List. Bloggers who write exclusively in the second person. Have you ever heard of such a thing?

The V-list. Blogging with the written word is so 1990’s. Meet the videobloggers! Vbloggers! Vloggers! Voggers! Verklempt! Vershtunk! (Anybody just try using V’ger yet?)

The W-list. Continuing our five-year mission…. wow! this former Star Trek star has a blog! Thank the Maker!

The XXX-list. Even cooler! Callgirls keep blogs! and there are guys who sell themselves, too!

The XX-list. Ok guys, we made room for the women after all, since they demanded their own conference. They’ll have to share it with the escorts though.

The Why-list. Why is the blogosphere so self -focused? What is wrong with you people. Why can’t more people pay attention to Africa? Or writers’ unions. Or to the homeless in their neighborhood. Or about encountering the homeless on their way to union meetings?

The Zzzzz-list. It’s 4am, it’s dark, and I’m wearing pajamas! Holy underwear, Batman! How long have I been up writing? Excuse the tpyos for it is late! I should probably profread this peace of siht before I post it. Or sent it to my offshore editing team. Oh, what the hack. Submitttt……..