If you’re like millions of Americans
You’ve left Dan, Tom, and Peter before they left you.
Evening News?
You’re on the road home.

Morning newspaper?
Don’t drive and read on the road to work.
Passing by the woods on a snowy morning…
Can’t we just leave those carbon suckers in the ground?

On the radio,
whoa-oh-oh-oh
on the radio–
[sing it, for old time’s sake]
Rush and Hugh and Bill-O’
Open up your brain
and inscribe the word of God,
or Reagan, or whoever has a book
and the they tell you:

Don’t drink from the mainstream
It will make you weak-kneed,
and sip the lattes
and drive a Volvo
and cut
and run
and decry– yet support–
the unfunded No Child Left Behind Act.

So now you suck the news through the digital hose
From the Insta-trumpet,
or the Talking Points,
or the crooks and the liars,
through the huffs and the posts,
in the powers that line
watching the uber-tuber,
sifting through el Goog; HooYa!
Booking your faces,
minding your spaces.

And ya digg it, and ya tweet it.
And ya can’t escape that ya gotta feed it.
Mashmaker, make me a mash!
Chop me some some news,
Find me someone to bash!

Wonder, we have to,
is this just a game?
when it falls on our fingers
to tell right from light,
and left from heft,
where do we point the blame?

Can we get back to the times
Before we got ridder the knights,
and the lady was gray, the dow was upright
and that’s the way it was.

Can’t we just get the ol’ MSM
Swallow it whole in capsule pill,
For $4.99/bottle
from the local Trader Joe’s?